Mario 2 Songtext - The Adventures of Duane & Brando

Mario 2 - The Adventures of Duane & Brando

(Story: When Mario opened a door after climbing a long stair in his dream, another world spread before him and he heard a voice call for help to be freed from a spell.)
(After awakening, Mario went to a cave nearby and to his surprise, he saw exactly what he saw in his dream.)
(Push Start)

I'm back in this bitch, throwing turnips and shit
This ain't no 'Doki Doki Panic', deal with it
It's Super Mario, in the motherfucking house
Gonna blast the sunglasses off that bomb-throwing mouse

Yo, Mario, don't confuse me with John Leguizamo
He didn't have a mustache, but at least he got the hoes
(Like in 'To Wong Foo')
I like 'The Pest', and I really, really liked the Clown from 'Spawn'
But when they cast him as Luigi, baby, that was just wrong
(Yeah, that was just wrong, wrong)

The Princess is my character of choice (Come on!)
But my balls are too big for me to rap in that voice
And so I jump really high
Take a jog in the sky
Hit the POW Block, throw a fucking bird in your eye

Anyway, we're on a mission to kill King Wart
I heard a call for help, in my dream, of course
And I woke up and saw the cave I seen in my sleep
That's what I get for counting sheep, let's go!

I'm in a cave now, tearing this place down
With these bombs that I pulled out of the ground
L-L-Luigi's in the cave too, that is the truth
P-Pullin' bombs out the ground like dentists pulling on my tooth
R-R-Representin' in this cave, bringing d-down the r-roof (Kaboom!)

(I don't know anyone who plays as Toad)
Now I'm leaving the cave, it's time to get on my way
Headed to the Birdo to save the day
Defeated Fryguy, Tryclyde, and Clawgrip, bitch
As I entered the Bird Head I clench my fist

I am a motherfucking Birdo, look at my face
I spit eggs, motherfucker, straight into your face
I'm so hardcore I rhymed face with face
I rhymed face four times, now get outta my face
Am I an Ostro or a Birdo? Nobody knows!
I eat orbs for breakfast, no milk, mofo
The inside of me glows, you suck and I blow
Don't throw those back, I'll shoot fire up your nose

How the fuck you gonna try and burn my 'stache, paisano?
You trying to make me look like John Leguizamo?
Have some unfertilized dinosaur, ho!
Take that shit, Hermaphrosaurus Rex, do the Mario!
Swing your arms from side to side!
Oh wait, you can't, that's right
"You red-bowed weirdo, boy birds don't lay eggs"
I say as I throw the last one in your face

King Wart, pulling life support
I see you made it past all of my cohorts
Get ready for my bubbles
Hold it right there
Now it's time to turn this dream into a scary nightmare
Beware
I bet you're scared
I declare despair, not one life spared

Well, leaping lasagna! You mean I'm dreaming right now?
I thought it was real, either way you're going down
I was wondering why the Princess wasn't taken this time
Eat your fucking vegetables, it's time to die


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