You've Got A Friend In Me
Quelle: Spotify
Ladies and gentlemen !
Eddie Murphy!
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Too kind, far too kind.Before I even get started how about
a big round of applause for the Bus Boys.
There's some rules, I got some rules when I show
down and I do my standup, I got rules and shit.Faggots aren't allowed to look
at my ass while I'm on stage !
That's why I keep moving while I'm up here.
You don't know where the faggot section is, you gotta keep moving.
So if they do see it, quick, you switch, they don't get no long stares at your shit...so that their imagination is flowing about my...
I know when you're looking, 'cos my ass starts to get hot.
I'm afraid of gay people. Petrified.
I have nightmares about gay people.
I have this nightmare that I go to Hollywood and find out that Mr. T is a faggot.
Really, and he'd be walking up to people going:
"Hey, boy ! Hey, boy !"
"You look mighty cute in them jeans !"
"Now come on over here, and fuck me up the ass !"
"I'm gonna bend over now!"
"Hey, boy, slow down ! You're gonna miss the round, and come too fast !"
"You make me get get mad I clench up my buttcheeks and rip your dick off!"
You know who would be a funny faggot?Ralph Kramden and Ed Norton!
Ralph Kramden leaning out the window and:
"Norton! Come on down, I wanna show you somethin'!"
"Ralphie-boy, whaddaya say there pal of mine ?"
"You know Norton, I've been watching you.
And I know you've been watching me. You watch me! I know!"
"So, Ralph, what are you gettin' at?"
"Norton, my friend! How would you like to fuck me up the ass?"
"I know you wanna fuck me, Norton!"
"And you know that I know that you know that I know that you wanna fuck me!"
"Now I'm gonna bend over, and when I do, start fuckin'!"
"Here I go!"
"[groans] hamana hamana hamana"
"Way to go there, Ralphie-boy!"
I kid the homosexuals a lot, because they're homosexuals.
I fuck with everybody. I don't give a fuck if they're...
Just like I'm... I don't mean anything by it.
You can hang out with a gay person.
Them guys don't feel, you know, alienated, like, gay people, because they're gay.You can play tennis with a gay person.
Really!
Just after the game you say:
"I'm gonna get a beer, what's you gonna do?"
"I think I'm gonna suck some guy's dick."
"Well, I'll see you later!"
"You go suck that dick, I'm gonna have the beer."
Ladies are hip to it too.
Ladies be hanging out with gay people.
Ladies be saying:
"Gay men are the best friends to have!"
"because they don't want anything from you, you don't want anything from them, you just hang out, you can be with them and get fun and just talk to them" and all that bullshit, and they be hanging out with them.
You know what's really scary about it? that new AIDS shit.
AIDS is scary because it kills motherfuckers, AIDS!
That ain't like the good old days when venereal disease was simple. In the good old days, you got gonorrhea, you dick hurt, go get a shot, cleared right up.
Then they came out with herpes, you keep that shit forever like luggage.
And now they got AIDS that just kills motherfuckers. I say what's next, I guess you just put your dick in it and explodes!
And the girl would be on the bed:
"Maybe I should see a doctor about it..."
Kills people! It petrifies me because girls be hanging out with them. One night they could be in the club having fun with their gay friend, give them a little kiss. And go home with AIDS on their lips!
And then when her husband, like five years later, Somebody says;
"Mr. Johnson you have aids.."
"AIDS?! But I'm not homosexual!"
"Sure you're not homosexual..."
All the diseases scare me because I'm like these...these are fuck years for me, like I'm...
I'm in my sexual prime, this, I fuck now!
These are the years to fuck! This is when you do your best fucking. And you just start to learn your body and getting it on your shoulders on to fuck...
Like 18 year olds, let me hear you all in the audience!
See y'all don't know how to fuck yet, see. You don't.
You get 22 you start moving all this shit.
Making faces, ever made them fuck faces. it
Zeige deinen Freunden, dass dir You've Got A Friend In Me von Michael Bublé gefällt:
Kommentare