Drum Solo
The Wrong Side Of Heaven And The Righteous Side Of Hell, Volume 1
Quelle: Spotify
1. EXTERIOR STREETS OUTSIDE RAILWAY TERMINAL DAY
The film opens with crowds of girls, shot in a sequence of CLOSE-UPS,
chasing after GEORGE, JOHN and RINGO. The boys hare off just ahead of
them. They take a turn down a back alley way and the crowds of
screaming girls are after them.
2. EXT. TERMINAL
They rush on through the narrow cobbled passageway and into the main
station, quickly show their tickets at the barrier for the London
train, and get onto the platform as hordes of yelling and screaming
girls reach the closed gates.
3. EXT. TERMINAL PLATFORM
We see the fans rushing to the few platform ticket machines, and
endless pennies being dropped and tickets torn out in their haste to
get onto the platform to see the boys.
NORM has been waiting for the boys and he hurries them to where all
their baggage, instruments and the drums are waiting, piled up to be
put into the guards' van. The boys turn and see the oncoming stream of
girls pushing through the barriers and descending on them with yells
and shouts. They grab their instruments, RINGO makes for the drums.
NORM plugs into a handy transformer and using their instruments like a
gun volley to stop the onrush of females, the boys blast fire into a
number and start to sing. This stops the girls in their tracks and they
settle down on whatever they can to listen to them playing.
As the boys are playing, we CUT BACK into the crowds. In the centre we
see PAUL struggling and pulling to fight his way through the girls to
join the other boys. He is dragging a very reluctant old man behind
him. The old man seems most disgruntled and we can see by his gestures
how unwilling he is to be pulled and pushed forward through all the
girls.
At last PAUL reaches the other boys. He sits the old man down on a pile
of cases and joins in the number to the squeals of delight from the
fans. The old man sits aloof and proud ignoring the whole proceedings.
JOHN, GEORGE and RINGO look enquiringly at PAUL who gives a
noncommittal shrug of the shoulders as if to say, "it's not my fault"
and the number proceeds.
SHOT of sudden horror on JOHN's face. PAUL follows his eye line only to
see the old man has doffed his cap and is busily collecting money from
a disconcerted crowd. PAUL dives hastily into the crowd, and with
suitable apologies extracts the old man and with a long suffering sigh
drags him back to the group. GEORGE and PAUL hold him firmly as they
finish the number, the old man standing there between them.
As the number finishes and the girls scream and shout with delight, the
guard blows his whistle. NORM and SHAKE grab the instruments and the
drums, and with the rest piles the lot into the guards' van. The BOYS
head into their reserved compartment pursued by the fans but the train
moves off. They have successfully repelled all extra boarders.
THE BOYS stand and wave to the fans until out of sight line ... the
girls running along to the end of the platform waving and calling out.
4. INTERIOR RESERVED COMPARTMENT IN THE TRAIN
The boys relax, sitting down on one side of the compartment. They are
about to settle down and make themselves at home when first RINGO
nudges GEORGE who in turn nudges JOHN. Opposite them is sitting the
LITTLE OLD MAN. He is holding himself stiff, erect and very aloof.
The three boys look at him enquiringly but with an elaborate sniff he
looks away from them and out of the window.
PAUL catches his eye and winks at the LITTLE OLD MAN. He winks back at
PAUL, scowls at the other three then looks firmly out of the window
again.
The boys turn on PAUL crowding around him.
JOHN
Eh ... pardon me for asking but who's that
little old man?
PAUL
What little old man?
JOHN
(pointing)
That little old man.
PAUL
Oh, that one. That's me Grandfather.
GEORGE
That's not your Grandfather.
PAUL
It is, y'know.
GEORGE
But your Grandfather lives in your house. I've
seen him.
PAUL
Oh, that's me other Grandfather, but this one's
me Grandfather and all.
JOHN
How d'you reckon that one out?
PAUL
Well ... everyone's entitled to two, aren't
they, and this is me other one.
JOHN
(long suffering)
Well we know that but what's he doing here?
PAUL
Well, me mother thought the trip 'ud do him
good.
RINGO
How's that?
PAUL
Oh ... he's nursing a broken heart.
The lads all look intently at the GRANDFATHER.
JOHN
Aah ... the poor old thing.
He leans across to GRANDFATHER.
JOHN
Eh, Mister... are you nursing a broken heart
then?
The GRANDFATHER nods soulfully glares at him, in a way that indicates
yes.
PAUL
(whispering)
You see, he was going to get married but she
threw him over for a butcher.
GEORGE
A butcher?
PAUL
Yeah, she was fickle.
JOHN
Aye and fond of fresh meat and all.
PAUL
(seriously)
No ... it was his sweetbreads. She was dead
kinky for sweetbreads. Anyroad, me mother
thought it'ud give him a change of scenery,
like.
JOHN
Oh, I see.
He inspects GRANDFATHER carefully.
JOHN
(to PAUL)
Eh, he's a nice old man, isn't he?
PAUL
Oh yeah, he's very clean, y'know.
They all agree with PAUL.
JOHN has been examining GRANDFATHER. He now leans forward to him.
JOHN
(in an over-friendly voice)
Hello, Grandfather!
GRANDFATHER
Hello.
JOHN
(delightedly)
He can talk then?
PAUL
(indignantly)
Course he can talk. He's a human being, like.
Isn't he?
RINGO
(grinning)
Well ... if he's your Grandfather, who knows?
The lads all laugh.
JOHN
And we're looking after him, are we?
GRANDFATHER
I'll look after meself.
PAUL
Aye, that's what I'm afraid of!
JOHN
He's got you worried, then?
PAUL
Him, he costs you a fortune in breach of
promise cases. He's a villain and a right mixer
as well.
GEORGE
(disbelieving)
Gerron.
PAUL
No, straight up.
GRANDFATHER
The lad's given you the simple truth. I'm
cursed wid irresistible charm, I'm too
attractive to be let loose.
At this moment, SHAKE, a tall man who works with the BOYS, pulls open
the door of the compartment.
SHAKE
You got on all right then?
BOYS
Hi, Shake.
SHAKE
We're here. Norm'll be along in a mo' with the
tickets.
He sees GRANDFATHER.
SHAKE
Morning!
(whispers)
Who's that little old man?
GEORGE
It's Paul's grandfather.
SHAKE
Oh aye, but I thought ...
JOHN
(cutting in)
No, that's his other one.
SHAKE
That's all right then.
JOHN
(displaying Grandfather)
Clean though, isn't he?
SHAKE
Oh yes, he's clean all right.
NORM the road manager appears behind SHAKE.
NORM
Morning, lads.
BOYS
Morning ... Hi, Norm.
NORM
(checking them quickly)
Well, thank God you're all got here. Now,
listen, I've had this marvellous idea ...
now just for a change, let's all behave like
ordinary responsible citizens. Let's not cause
any trouble, pull any strokes or do anything
I'm going to be sorry for, especially
tomorrow at the television theatre,
because ...
He looks sharply at JOHN who is polishing his nails.
NORM
Are you listening to me, Lennon?
JOHN
(off-hand)
You're a swine, isn't he George?
GEORGE
(disinterested)
Yeah ... a swine.
NORM
(just as indifferent)
Thanks...
He sees the GRANDFATHER.
NORM
Eh ... .
BOYS IN CHORUS
... Who's that little old man?
NORM
Well, who is he?
RINGO
He belongs to Paul.
NORM
(accepting the situation)
Ah well, there you go. Look, I'm going down the
diner for a cup of coffee, are you coming?
PAUL
We'll follow you down.
GRANDFATHER rises.
GRANDFATHER
I want me coffee.
NORM
He can come with Shake and me if you like.
PAUL
Well, look after him. I don't want to find
you've lost him.
NORM
Don't be cheeky, I'll bind him to me with
promises. Come on, Grandad.
GRANDFATHER joins SHAKE and NORM.
NORM
(over Grandfather's head)
He's very clean, isn't he?
SHAKE and NORM collect GRANDFATHER and are in the process of leaving
the compartment when a fat upper class city Englishman, JOHNSON,
attempts to enter. There is a bit of confusion and they get tangled up
with each other.
JOHNSON
Make up your minds, will you!
At last SHAKE, NORM and GRANDFATHER sort themselves out and JOHNSON
enters with his case. The other three go to coffee.
JOHNSON puts his case up on the luggage rack, then sits down. All his
movements are disgruntled ... he finally picks up his copy of the
Financial Times and burying himself behind it, starts to read. After a
moment he looks up, notices the compartment window is open. He gets up
and without so much as a "by your leave" he closes it, glares at the
BOYS and sits down again.
The boys exchange looks as if to say ... "Hello, Saucy!!"
PAUL
(politely)
Do you mind if we have it opened?
JOHNSON
(briefly)
Yes, I do.
JOHN
Yeah, but there are four of us, like, and we'd
like it open, if it's all the same to you, that
is.
JOHNSON
(rudely)
Well, it isn't. I travel on this train
regularly twice a week, so I suppose I've some
rights.
RINGO
Aye, well, so have we.
He disappears behind his paper before the BOYS can say another word.
RINGO pulls a face at the raised paper and switches on his portable
radio. A pop number is playing.
JOHNSON puts down his paper firmly.
JOHNSON
And we'll have that thing off as well, thank
you.
RINGO
But I ...
JOHNSON leans over and switches it off.
JOHNSON
An elementary knowledge of the Railway Acts
would tell you I'm perfectly within my rights.
He smiles frostily.
PAUL
Yeah, but we want to hear it and there's more
of us than you. We're a community, like, a
majority vote. Up the workers and all that
stuff!
JOHNSON
Then I suggest you take that damned thing into
the corridor or some other part of the train
where you obviously belong.
JOHN
(leaning forward to him)
Gie's a kiss!
PAUL
Shurrup! Look, Mister, we've paid for our seats
too, you know.
JOHNSON
I travel on this train regularly, twice a week.
JOHN
Knock it off, Paul, y' can't win with his sort.
After all, it's his train, isn't it, Mister?
JOHNSON
And don't you take that tone with me, young
man!
GEORGE
But...
JOHNSON
(accusingly)
I fought the war for your sort.
RINGO
Bet you're sorry you won!
JOHNSON
I'll call the guard!
PAUL
Aye ... but what? They don't take kindly to
insults you know. Ah, come on, you lot. Let's
get a cup of coffee and leave Toby the manger.
The boys troop out of the door into the corridor. JOHNSON smiles
triumphantly. He is about to settle down to his paper when there is a
tap on the corridor window. He looks up and we see pressed against the
window a collection of hideous Beatle faces.
PAUL
Eh, Mister ... can we have our ball back!
The man jumps to his feet.
5. INTERIOR OF THE CORRIDOR
The boys run away like a pack of school boys and disappear round the
corner.
6. INTERIOR OF THE TRAIN CORRIDOR
From the P.O.V. of the door leading to the restaurant car.
The boys come down the corridor in full flight, laughing away like
happy idiots. GEORGE and PAUL pull open the sliding doors. The boys
look inside.
7. INTERIOR RESTAURANT CAR
From their P.O.V. we see the car is half empty and at a table in the
centre SHAKE and NORM and GRANDFATHER are sitting. On the table is a
pile of photos of the boys. NORM and SHAKE are arguing. NORM is being
very aggressive, much to SHAKE's discomfort.
NORM
Yeah, you want to watch it.
SHAKE
(unhappily)
It's not my fault.
NORM
Well, you stick to that story, son.
SHAKE
I can't help it, I'm just taller than you.
GRANDFATHER
(To NORM slyly)
They always say that.
NORM
Yeah, well I got me eye on you.
SHAKE
I'm sorry Norm, but I can't help being taller
than you.
NORM
Well, you don't have to rub me nose in it. I've
a good mind to ...
(he is about to thump SHAKE.)
JOHN
(enjoying himself)
If you're going to have a barney I'll hold
your coats.
NORM
He started it.
SHAKE
No, I didn't you did ...
GEORGE
Well, what happened?
SHAKE
The old fella wanted these pictures and Norm
said he couldn't have 'em, all I said was
'aw go on, be big about it.'
PAUL
And?
NORM
Your Grandfather pointed out Shake was always
being taller than me just to spite me.
PAUL
I knew it, he started it, I should have known.
NORM
Y'what?
PAUL
You two have never had a quarrel in your life
and in two minutes flat he's got you at it.
He's a king mixer. Adam and Eve, meet the
serpent. Anthony and Cleopatra, there's your
asp. Divide and Conquer, that's this one's
motto. He hates group unity so he gets
everyone at it.
The BOYS, i.e., JOHN, GEORGE and RINGO, look at each other then at
PAUL.
PAUL
Aye and we'll have to watch it and all.
GEORGE
I suggest you just give him the photos and have
done with it.
NORM
You're right. Here you are, old devil.
SHAKE and NORM leave. GRANDFATHER grins triumphantly and collects them,
then with a sweet smile he turns to PAUL.
GRANDFATHER
Would you ever sign this one for us, Pauly?
PAUL does so automatically but in the middle of signing he gets
suspicious. GRANDFATHER smiles at him charmingly so PAUL finishes
signing.
JOHN
Come on let's get this coffee.
GRANDFATHER
Before you go, I think it's only fair to warn
you about me Grandson ... don't let our Paul
have his own way all the time, 'cos if you do
he won't respect you!
JOHN, RINGO and GEORGE take this up straight away. They all pretend to
be girls, RINGO jumps into PAUL's arms.
GEORGE
(coyly)
Oh, Paul, you can't have your own way!!!
JOHN
(invitingly, in a Marlene Dietrich
voice)
If I let you have your own way, you little
rascal, will you respect me?
PAUL
(choked)
I'll murder you, Grandfather!
JOHN waltzes PAUL down to an empty table and the lads sit down.
GEORGE
Eh, look at that talent.
They all gaze across the aisle. From their P.O.V. we see two very
attractive young girls, RITA and JEAN, having coffee.
JOHN
Give 'em a pull.
PAUL
Shall I?
GEORGE
Aye, but don't rush. None of your five bar gate
jumps and over sort of stuff.
PAUL
Now what's that supposed to mean?
GEORGE
(grinning)
I don't really know, but it sounded
distinguished, like, didn't it?
JOHN
George Harrison, The Scouse of Distinction.
We follow PAUL as he crosses over to the two girls. He places a bowler
on his head.
PAUL
(in posh accent)
Excuse me, but these young men I'm sitting with
wondered if two of us could join you; I'd ask
you meself only I'm shy.
The two girls giggle together.
JOHN and GEORGE are about to move over when GRANDFATHER suddenly
appears by their sides.
GRANDFATHER
(sternly)
I'm sorry, miss, but you mustn't fraternise
with my prisoners.
JEAN
Prisoners!!
GRANDFATHER
Convicts in transit to Wormwood Scrubs. Typical
old lags, the lot of 'em.
THE BOYS
Y'what!!!
GRANDFATHER
Quiet, you lot, or I'll give you a touch of me
truncheon.
(He points at Ringo)
That little one's the worst. If we don't keep
him on tablets he has fits.
RINGO
(protesting)
Now look here!!
GRANDFATHER grabs two lumps of sugar from the table and forces them
into RINGO'S mouth.
GRANDFATHER
Get out while you can, ladies, his time's
coming round for one of his turns.
The frightened girls scurry out of the restaurant car. The boys look in
amazement and horror at GRANDFATHER. They are completely flabbergasted.
GRANDFATHER smiles at them benignly.
8. INTERIOR OF RAILWAY COMPARTMENT
SHAKE and NORM are seated. SHAKE is buried in a science fiction book.
NORM looks at his watch, slightly worried.
NORM
He's been gone a long time.
SHAKE
(without looking up)
Who?
NORM
Paul's grandfather.
SHAKE
Oh, I didn't notice, where'd he go?
NORM
Down the ... er ...
SHAKE
Oh, down the ... er ...?
NORM
Yeah, down the ... er ...
SHAKE
Well, give a couple of minutes ...
He resumes reading. But NORM goes on worrying.
9. INTERIOR OF ANOTHER RAILWAY COMPARTMENT
Grandfather is in full flight of conversation with a charming elderly
lady, AUDREY, who is listening intently.
GRANDFATHER
(proudly)
Yes, I'm their manager, I discovered them.
LADY AUDREY
Did you indeed, Mr. McCartney?
GRANDFATHER
Now, Audrey, I told you, the name's John. We
show biz people are a friendly lot.
AUDREY
Of course, John.
GRANDFATHER
Yes, they were playing the queues outside the
picture palaces of Liverpool. Scruffy young
lads, lacking even the price of a jam roll.
Orphans, every Paddy's son of 'em. I saw
their potential at once although I had me
doubts about the little fella, a savage
primitive, that Ringo, but it was him what
gave in first. He picked up a brick and
heaved it at me and I quelled him wid one
fierce flash of me eyes. "Mister, can you
spare us a copper?" he said. I was disarmed by
the grubby little outstretched mauler ... So, I
took them under me managerial banner.
AUDREY
The usual ten per cent?
GRANDFATHER
Oh, not at all, I let them have twenty-five;
sure aren't there four of them?
AUDREY
(her eyes lighting up)
How fascinating. Do go on ...
(pause)
... John.
GRANDFATHER
... Oh, I'm all heart, Ma'am, all heart ...
Well, I let ...
10. INTERIOR CORRIDOR OF TRAIN
NORM and SHAKE meet with the BOYS as they are returning from coffee.
NORM
Eh, have you got Paul's grandfather?
JOHN
Of course, he's concealed about me person.
NORM
No ... he's must have slipped off somewhere.
PAUL
(accusingly)
Have you lost him?
NORM
Don't exaggerate.
PAUL
You've lost him.
SHAKE
Put it this way, he's mislaid him.
PAUL
You can't trust you with anything, Norm, if
you've lost him, I'll cripple you.
SHAKE
He can't be far.
JOHN
I hope he fell off.
PAUL
(mildly)
Don't be callous.
RINGO
He doesn't like me, honest, I can tell ... It's
'cos I'm little.
GEORGE
You've got an inferiority complex, you have.
RINGO
Yeah, I know, that's why I took up the drums.
It's me active compensatory factor.
JOHN and PAUL run down the corridor. SHAKE and NORM turn from the door
and go in the opposite direction, GEORGE and RINGO follow after the
other two boys.
11. INTERIOR CORRIDOR OF TRAIN
PAUL and JOHN look into various compartments. CLOSE SHOT of RINGO
looking into compartments in the manner of Groucho Marx. In one of the
compartments we see from RINGO'S P.O.V. the occupant, a glamorous
woman, TANIA, with a small lap dog.
She is beautifully and most expensively dressed. She looks up and sees
RINGO.
RINGO smiles at her and she smiles back. She then beckons him to join
her.
He looks around to see if she means someone else. She nods a negative.
RINGO looks back enquiringly then points at himself as if to say: "Who,
me?"
TANIA smiles enthusiastically.
GEORGE has been watching all this.
GEORGE
Are you going in?
RINGO
No, she'll only reject me in the end and I'll
be frustrated.
GEORGE
You never know, you might be lucky this time.
RINGO
No, I know the psychological pattern and it
plays hell with me drum skins.
He blows the glamorous lady a kiss, then moves sadly on.
12. INTERIOR FURTHER DOWN THE CORRIDOR
PAUL enters a compartment followed by JOHN. The TWO GIRLS, RITA and
JEAN, from the restaurant car are sitting there.
PAUL
Excuse me but have you seen that little old
man we were with?
The girls jump up, surprised.
JOHN
We've broken out, oh, the blessed freedom of it
all!
(he extends his hands
as if handcuffed)
Eh, have you got a nail file, these handcuffs
are killing me. I was framed. I was innocent.
PAUL
Will you stop it! Sorry to disturb you, miss...
He starts to drag JOHN after him.
JOHN
I was innocent. I was framed. I won't go back.
JOHN is now by the door; he leers at the girls horribly.
JOHN
I bet you can guess what I was in for.
He cackles like a maniac before disappearing, the door closing after
him.
A waiter carrying a tray with champagne and glasses on it passes into
one of the compartments with the blinds down.
PAUL
How about that one?
He moves towards the compartment.
PAUL
(to Ringo and George)
Did you look in here?
GEORGE
No. I mean, it's probably a honeymoon couple or
a company director or something.
PAUL
Well, let's broaden our outlook.
PAUL opens the door of the compartment.
13. INTERIOR OF COMPARTMENT
From the BOYS' P.O.V. we see GRANDFATHER and the elderly lady, AUDREY,
sipping champagne and nibbling caviar on toast.
GRANDFATHER
(looking up)
Congratulate me, boys, I'm engaged.
PAUL enters and crosses over to him.
PAUL
Oh no, you're not. You've gone too far this
time ... and who's paying for all this?
GRANDFATHER
It's all taken care of. It's down on our bill.
PAUL
Oh, well that's all right.
(realising)
What?
AUDREY
Young man, kindly moderate your tone when you
address my fiance.
PAUL
I'm sorry, Missus, but the betrothal's off.
(He grabs GRANDFATHER
by the arm.)
I'll refuse me consent, he's over-age!
AUDREY grabs GRANDFATHER's other arm and pulls back.
AUDREY
Leave him alone, after all he's done for you is
this the way you repay him?
A tug of war now starts between PAUL and AUDREY.
PAUL
(pulling)
Him? he's never done anything for anybody in
his life.
AUDREY
(pulling)
You dare to say that when even those ridiculous
clothes you are wearing were bought when you
forced him to sell out his gilt edged
Indomitables!!
JOHN and GEORGE jump on the seat egging PAUL and AUDREY on.
JOHN
Come on, Auntie, you're winning.
GEORGE
Get in there, Paul, she's weakening.
RINGO attempts to interfere.
RINGO
Look, Missus, this is all a misunderstanding,
you see, he's ...
AUDREY
Keep away from me, you depraved lout, I know
all about your terrible past.
RINGO
Y'what?
She hits RINGO with her handbag and continues struggling with PAUL for
GRANDFATHER. RINGO grabs her handbag to stop her hitting him.
RINGO
He's given me a bad character, blackguarding me
name to all and sundry. He's got to be stopped.
It's not fair.
RINGO pushes out into the corridor, forgetting that he is holding the
woman's handbag.
A voice shouts off from outside.
VOICE OFF
That's one of them ... stop thief!
14. INTERIOR CORRIDOR
From Ringo's P.O.V. we see down to the right the city man, JOHNSON,
approaching with a GUARD. RINGO turns the other way to the left when he
is joined by [the] three other boys. From their P.O.V. down the
corridor we see the two girls, autograph books in hand, followed by ten
girls from the same school.
Both groups are closing in on the BOYS. There's no escape.
RINGO
(looking down at the
handbag in his hand)
Oh Mother!!
15. INTERIOR LUGGAGE VAN
Very dark, and behind bars we see GRANDFATHER. He is sitting crouched
up on a wooden box tea chest and looks pretty miserable. He turns
towards the CAMERA; in the foreground of the SHOT we see PAUL standing.
In the background an impassive GUARD is reading a paper which he does
throughout the scene.
GRANDFATHER
(bitterly)
And to think me own grandson would have let
them put me behind bars!
PAUL
Don't dramatise.
The CAMERA PULLS BACK and we see GRANDFATHER in the luggage compartment
of the guards' van. In with him are a crate of chickens and a dog. The
chickens peck at him; GRANDFATHER moves listlessly away.
PAUL
Let's face it, you're lucky to be here. If
they'd have had their way you'd have been
dropped off at Stafford already.
GRANDFATHER proudly turns away from PAUL who dodges round so he can
still see his face.
PAUL
Well, you've got to admit you've upset a lot of
people. At least I can keep my eye on you while
you're stuck in here.
GRANDFATHER turns away again.
PAUL
All right, how about Ringo? I mean ... he's
very upset, you know ... and as far as your
girlfriend, little Audrey's concerned, she's
finished with men for the rest of her natural,
and another thing ...
GRANDFATHER
A harmless bit of fun, aah, none of you have
any sense of humour left these days.
PAUL
Oh, it's all right for you but those two girls
were scared to death! Honest, Grandad, why? I
mean, why do you do these things?
GRANDFATHER
(cutting in)
You're left-handed, aren't you, Paul?
PAUL
Yeah ... so what?
GRANDFATHER
Why do you always use your left hand?
PAUL
Well, don't be daft, I've got to.
GRANDFATHER
And I take a left-handed view of life, I've got
to.
PAUL grins. After a moment of looking at him, PAUL opens the door of
the luggage compartment and joins GRANDFATHER on a box.
PAUL
Shove up!
GRANDFATHER produces a penny.
GRANDFATHER
Odds or evens?
PAUL sighs.
PAUL
Odds.
GRANDFATHER flips the coin.
The guards' van door opens and JOHN, GEORGE and RINGO come in, with
them are the girls, RITA and JEAN.
JOHN
(as he sees PAUL behind the bars)
Don't worry, son, we'll get you the best
lawyer trading stamps can buy.
PAUL
Oh, it's a laugh a line with Lennon.
(to Ringo)
Anyroad up ... It's all your fault.
RINGO
Me? Why?
GEORGE
Bag-snatcher.
GRANDFATHER
That's right; convict without trial ... Habeas
corpus.
JOHN
(casually)
Every morning.
JOHN has been looking around the guards' van.
JOHN
Gaw, it's depressing in here, isn't it?
Funny...
(he pats the dog)
'cos they usually reckon dogs more than people
in England, don't they? You'd expect something
a little more palatial.
(he shudders)
Come on. Let's have a little action. Let's do
something, then.
PAUL
Like what?
JOHN
Well, I've got me gob stopper.
(he produces his mouth organ.)
Look, a genuine Stradivarius, hand tooled at
Dagenham.
And to RINGO's beat on a tea chest they are off, PAUL and GEORGE
improvising other sounds, much to the GIRLS' delight. During the
number, GRANDFATHER quietly lets the latch off the chicken crate and
chickens begin to wander through the scene.
16. EXTERIOR TRAIN IN MOTION FROM ABOVE (NIGHT)
While the number is progressing, the train is getting nearer and nearer
to London.
17. EXTERIOR PLATFORM TERMINUS (NIGHT)
SHOTS of the station full of GIRLS waiting for the BOYS.
18. INTERIOR GUARDS VAN
By the time the number finishes the train pulls up with a sharp halt
that sends them all sprawling, BOYS and GIRLS.
NORM enters the guards' van.
NORM
Don't move, any of you. They've gone potty out
there. The whole place is surging with girls.
JOHN
Please, can I have one to surge with?
NORM
No.
JOHN
Ah, go on, you swine.
NORM
No, you can't. Look, as soon as I tell you, run
through this door here and into the big car
that's waiting.
He points and we see a big car parked across the road.
The BOYS prepare to depart, lining up with GRANDFATHER at the door.
19. EXTERIOR PLATFORM TERMINUS
Just as they are ready to go, a line of taxis draws up parallel to the
train and now separates them from the big car waiting for them.
NORM
Oh no!
GRANDFATHER pushes past the BOYS, holding his coat closed.
GRANDFATHER
All right, lads, follow me.
And before NORM can stop him, he darts out of the door, PAUL after him.
The fans further down the platform see PAUL and charge forward ... in a
panic NORM and the others follow, JOHN just having time to kiss both
the girls.
JOHN
Vive l'amour!
NORM drags him away.
20. EXTERIOR RAILWAY STATION
The BOYS manage to follow GRANDFATHER by leaping onto a motorized
luggage carrier, GEORGE driving and the other three posing as a frozen
tableau on the back. GRANDFATHER has arrived at a taxi door. He flings
it open and runs through, opening the other door, thus making a safe
bridge to the car.
The BOYS follow and manage to make it to the big car safely. They run
towards grandfather's taxi. The FANS have followed the BOYS and we see
streams of GIRLS piling through all the taxis one of which contains
JOHNSON the city man, opening and shutting the doors to get through,
much to the indignation of the TAXI DRIVERS.
21. INTERIOR BIG CAR
NORM is sitting in front with the driver, FRANK. The four BOYS and
GRANDFATHER are squashed together in the back.
NORM
(to the driver)
Go like the clappers, son!
FRANK
(smoothly)
That was my entire intention, sir.
22. EXTERIOR STATION
The car moves off surrounded by the FANS; from a height we see them
converge on the car but it moves forcefully out of the station and off.
It moves into the traffic in the main road and the journey to the hotel
begins.
23. INTERIOR HOTEL SUITE NIGHT
There is a reception room and off it lead rooms that are presumably
bedrooms, bathroom, etc. JOHN is lying sprawled out on a settee
listening to a transistor radio, demolishing a basket of fruit. PAUL is
sitting at an upright piano and GRANDFATHER is mooching about the room.
One of the doors opens and GEORGE enters followed by RINGO, none of the
BOYS are wearing coats.
RINGO
I don't snore.
GEORGE
You do - repeatedly.
RINGO
(to John)
Do I snore?
JOHN
(eating a banana)
You're a window rattler, son.
RINGO
Well, that's just your opinion. Do I snore,
Paul?
PAUL
(stopping playing)
With a trombone hooter like yours it'd be
unnatural if you didn't.
GRANDFATHER
Don't mock the afflicted, Pauly.
PAUL
Oh for Pete's sake, It's only a joke.
GRANDFATHER
Well, it may be a joke, but it's his nose. He
can't help having a horrible great nose, it's
the only one he's got. And his poor little
head's trembling under the weight of it.
NORM enters with three piles of fan mail and places them in front of
JOHN on a table. RINGO is almost in tears, examining his nose in a
mirror.
NORM
Paul, John, George - get at it.
JOHN
Hello the income tax have caught up with us at
last.
PAUL and GEORGE gather round the low table. RINGO is left out of it.
RINGO
None for me, then?
NORM
Sorry.
John hands RINGO a single envelope.
JOHN
That'll keep you busy.
GRANDFATHER
It's your nose, y'see. Fans are funny that way.
Take a dislike to things. They'll pick on a
nose...
RINGO
You go and pick on your own.
SHAKE enters with a stack of mail about three times larger than all the
others put together.
JOHN
Is that yours?
SHAKE
For Ringo.
He dumps it in Ringo's arms who staggers into an armchair. The BOYS
send him up.
JOHN
That must have cost you a fortune in stamps,
Ringo.
GEORGE
He comes from a large family.
RINGO
(dumping the letters)
Well.
RINGO opens his letter and reads it. It contains a large embossed card.
RINGO
Eh, what's Boyd's Club?
The lads gather round him and PAUL takes the card from him and reads.
PAUL
"The Management of Boyd's takes pleasure in
requesting the company of Mr. Richard Starkey,
that's you, in their recently refinished gaming
rooms. Chemin de Fer. Baccarat, Roulette, and
Champagne Buffet." Blimey!
RINGO
(surprised)
And they want me?
JOHN
Oh, it's got round that you're a heavy punter.
NORM
(snatching the card)
Well you're not going.
RINGO
Ah.
GRANDFATHER
(taking card from Norm)
Quite right, invites to gambling dens full of
easy money and fast women, chicken sandwiches
and cornets of caviar, disgusting!
He pockets the card himself.
RINGO
That's mine.
NORM
Have done, and you lot get your pens out.
BOYS
Why?
NORM
It's homework time for all you college
puddings. I want this lot
(he indicates the fan letters)
all answered tonight.
The BOYS all protest.
NORM
I'll brook no denial!
JOHN
It's all right for you, you couldn't get a pen
in your foot, you swine.
NORM
Come on, Shake, we'll leave 'em to their
penmanship.
He goes followed by SHAKE.
There is a pause and JOHN deliberately rises slowly and crosses to his
coat. He puts it on and walks to the door.
JOHN
While the swine's away the piglets can play.
Well, come on, what are we waiting for?
With a whoop PAUL, GEORGE and RINGO collect their coats and head for
the door.
GRANDFATHER
What about all these letters?
BOYS
Read 'em!
They disappear. After a moment GRANDFATHER takes out Ringo's card.
C.U. GRANDFATHER
GRANDFATHER
And a free champagne buffet.
He grins to himself. At this moment a WAITER enters with a tray. He is
clad in tails and GRANDFATHER eyes them longingly, measuring himself
the while alongside the startled waiter. He leaves us with no doubt in
our minds what he wants, i.e., the waiter's suit.
24. INTERIOR DANCING CLUB NIGHT
The club is the latest in modern decor and full of teenagers all
enjoying themselves. The CAMERA wanders around the club till it finally
picks out JOHN, PAUL, GEORGE and RINGO all crowded around one small
table. The music is blaring away from a juke box and the BOYS join the
dancers. They are recognised and given smiles and nods of encouragement
by all the other customers. During this scene we
CUT AWAY
25. INTERIOR BOYD'S CLUB NIGHT
The whole atmosphere is of quiet elegance and loud wealth. Around the
baccarat table the rich, bored customers sit barely moving a face
muscle as they languidly murmur "suivez" and "banco" to the dealer as
he operates the shoe. The manager of the club is beaming with
satisfaction as he surveys his customers. One of these customers is
clad in evening dress and he has his back to us. The rest of the
players (male) are in suits. By each of them is standing a lush lady
with a bored sophisticated face that looks as if it has been painted
on. From the REVERSE of the LAST SHOT we now see the solitary evening
dress player is GRANDFATHER. He looks around him and wipes off his look
of enjoyment and elaborately out-bores everyone in the room.
DEALER
Alors, M'sieur?
GRANDFATHER
(nonchalant)
Soufl
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