Thanksgiving Day Parade Songtext - Dan Bern

Thanksgiving Day Parade - Dan Bern

Everybody was ecstatic
'Bout the light show on the farm
And everyone got crazy
And nobody got harmed

And the five televisions
Huge upon the stage
Had come to pay their union dues
And make a living wage

And the bathroom was the clubhouse
Where the colors all got made
And plans were cast in feathers
For the Thanksgiving Day Parade

And the DJ spins his records
From here out to the sun
And he flings them through a big hole
In the ozone one by one

And somewhere beyond Mercury
The wax begins to melt
And we touched a perfect stranger
And we loved the way it felt

And we all hung together
In our crew cuts and our braids
Floating down Broadway
Above the Thanksgiving Day Parade

And you and I were discussing Natalie
As you poised to thrust above her
And I told you how I admire her
And will always need to love her

And I told you how I lost
My best friend Mr. Neill
And we slowly started dancing
And began slowly to heal

And then we all held hands
And no one was afraid
On our way to sell our sculptures
At the Thanksgiving Day Parade

And Michelangelo finally came down
After 4 years on the ceiling
He said he'd lost his funding
And the paint had started peeling

And he told us that his patron
His Holiness, the Pope
Was demanding productivity
With which our friend just couldn't cope

And he rode off on his skateboard
With his brushes and his blade
Muttering something 'bout some food
And the Thanksgiving Day Parade

And we were born in one millennium
And will die in the next
Are slightly underappreciated
And slightly oversexed

And as the seconds and the minutes
Start to vanish one by one
I'm watching more cartoons
As I get my toenails done

And we went downtown to deliver
Turkeys to people with AIDS
And then we headed uptown
To the Thanksgiving Day Parade

And the music keeps on grinding
And the electrophonic crunch
And my father's hair is thinning
And my mom ate some for lunch

And you, you were my babysitter
And you let me break my tooth
And we sit here tied together
In a bar in the back booth

And the band is in an uproar
Only the drum machine's been paid
And we'll have to bring our own tunes
To the Thanksgiving Day Parade

Australians are the coolest
People in the world
Let's all go down under
With strings of colored pearls

And lay them at the feet
Of the heirs of English crime
And listen to old
Men At Work

And have a real good time

And we dug until we hit the rocks
Then we threw away the spade
And built a platform to get a better view
Of the Thanksgiving Day Parade

And I love whoever's next to me
I love them so, so much
They let me lean against them
Like a beautiful crutch

And everyone should come up
On the stage and grab the mic
And tell us one by one
Who they are and what they like

And the babies are the only ones
To have lately gotten laid
And I'm feeling young and eager
For the Thanksgiving Day Parade

And you explained to me that without your fans
You'd be back out on the street
With nothing but chitlins on your plate
And splinters in your feet

And if you die, you're gone you said
And your friends are left behind
And you'll be a statistic
And we'll be deaf and blind

And darkness is a virtue
And molasses is not afraid
To slow down the countdown
To the Thanksgiving Day Parade

And somewhere in the distance
An orchestra shows its face
With Natalie on the oboe
Ty on double bass

John plays the viola
Slik, the tenor sax
James he blows harmonica
In vanilla skintight slacks

Hugo oozes alto sax
Ivory, the trombone
Masuda squawks the trumpet
Andre, xylophone

Ron, he shreds the violin
In a green Italian suit
Mike talks on the telephone
On a tape with an endless loop

Geoff he blows the clarinet
With an old-time rockin' feel
Charlie dings the triangle
Dave, the glockenspiel

Chris puffs on the tuba
H, a big bass drum
Alfonso throbs the cello
Like he would a woman, with his thumb

And high up on the podium
In tails with his baton poised
Banksy leads the orchestra
In a glorious, awful noise

And on a float of dripping oil paint
The orchestra, it played
Kissing the whole universe
In the Thanksgiving Day Parade

And life is like a fairy tale
Every step feels like a dream
That keeps on getting nearer
And more and more extreme

And we just got switched with Venus
And we're closer to the sun
And I got no problem with it
Nor should anyone

And the cops just blew on in here
And we're in some kind of raid
I just hope they will release us
For the Thanksgiving Day Parade


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