High School Party (live) Songtext - Bo Burnham

High School Party (live) - Bo Burnham

High School party, senior year
Boys and girls are all sipping on beer
I like soda, where’s the soda
Am I the only fucking person here that likes soda
I see you from across the crowd
I said the party is bumping and the music is loud
You’re really drunk and you’re looking sad
It’s like a date rape ad
Girl, then we start to dance and
Girl, baby this is romance
Girl, I’m starting to grow down below
Shit why did I wear sweat pants
Girl, you’re bodies like what
Conjunction junction, that’s a fine ass but
I’m like a cashew in a lollipop
Just keeping sucking til you get to the nut
And I said
Let’s rob an Asian kitchen, or stroll down the block
Either way girl, we’re taking a walk/wok nothing
You’re going to love me the way my uncle did
Except you’re not gonna to go to court for doing it
Be a guillotine or my girl instead
Either way, you’re giving me head
I’m gonna love you the right way
Shorty with a body looking hotty when I say
Girl
When I say girl
We go into the bedroom exchanging nervous laughter
Why’s it called dry humping if I always need a towel after
You spread your naked legs and I see that wound that never healed
Even though you’re yelling for me, I can tell your lips are sealed
We’re both aware of my erection
You ask if I have protection
I say Well um no
I-I tried to buy em once I was in the convenient store
My old baby sitter walked in
I had to hide them near the tic-tacs
I was so embarrassed I peed myself a little bit
Girl
Girl
Insert a euphemism
A sexy mental prism
Increase my pelvic rhythm
Fill you with my syllogism
I know your body and I know how to please you
Don’t thank me, thank Wikipedia
Guys don’t go down, well I am
What the fuck is that
I should have brought my diagram
Ooh did you feel that
That was an educated guess
Ooh did you feel that
That one was a sneeze, my bad
High school party, senior year
None of that happened cause I wasn’t invited


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