[Verse 1]
COLIN ZEAL KNOWS THE VALUE OF MASS APPEAL
HE'S A PEDESTRIAN WALKER, HE'S A CIVIL TALKER
HE'S AN AFFABLE MAN WITH A PLAUSIBLE PLAN
KEEPS HIS EYE ON THE NEWS, KEEPS HIS FUTURE IN HAND
AND THEN HE
[Chorus]
LOOKS AT HIS WATCH, HE'S ON TIME YET AGAIN (x2)
HE'S PLEASED WITH HIMSELF, SO PLEASED WITH HIMSELF, HE'S
PLEASED WITH HIMSELF AH AH
[Verse 2]
WHILE SITTING IN TRAFFIC, COLIN THINKS IN AUTOMATIC
HE'S AN IMMACULATE DRESSER, HE'S THE COMMON AGGRESSOR
HE'S A MODERN RETARD WITH A LOVE OF BOMBAST
KEEPS HIS EYE ON THE NEWS NEVER DWELLS ON THE PAST
AND THEN HE
[Chorus]
[Outro]
Well, he's a modern retard, he's terminal lard
He's an affable man, with a carotene tan
Cause Colin Zeal's ill
Colin Zeal's ill
Colin Zeal's ill
He's Colin Zeal and he knows
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