Baltimore
Quelle: Spotify
When my mother told me don’t forget your rain boots when it’s wet
I listened up, just like a good good little girl
And when she prudently suggested I should lose the cigarette
I knew that bit of wisdom was a pearl
But in all of the advice that I collected through the years
I admit to you, with trepidatious dread
Unfortunately there was some that whizzed right through my ears
Oh, where... where was my mind, when Mother said...
"Avoid...
Navel-contemplating floppy-haired actors originally from Baltimore
Who excel at mime, still play Stratego and have issues with their mom
Sure at first they’re very charming, their attention is disarming
But give attention in return and dear they’ll drop you like a bomb
Yes, do avoid,
REO-Speedwagon-loving, Christopher-Walken-imitating thespians
originally from Baltimore
Who can’t piss unless their shrink says it's okay...
Why let them break your heart dear?
Put your head on and be smart dear,
Put some bug spray on and make them go away."
When my daddy told me look both ways before you cross the street
I took his words to heart and I complied
And when he told me: "Be yourself!" and I should march to my own beat
I did! and found the truth was bona fide…
But in all of the advice that I collected through the years
I have to say, I am a bit surprised
I missed the best advice that Daddy trumpeted my way
Ah, where… where was my mind, when he advised…
"Avoid:
Narcissistic, alcoholic, think they're French - but they're not!, waiters
originally from Baltimore
Who deflower you, carry a copy a Fountainhead in their pocket,
and lie about their age
Sure at first their eyes are steely, and their words are touchy-feely
Have them cheat upon you twice and my advice is more than sage
Yes, do steer clear
Of Renaissance-festival-loving food service consultants
Originally from Baltimore
Who say they dance with NYC ballet but are really an administrative intern...
For it’s clear upon reflection
If you give them your affection
You will understand the topic “crash and burn”."
The singles world out there can be a scary land
I have to ask: Is it me? or is it Maryland…?
So if you can possibly avoid it
Don’t fall in love or lust or have crushes on Boys from Baltimore
Though indeed at first they seem chock-full of style and class
Sure Cal Ripken’s charm is actual… but he’s married and it’s factual
Pimlico is not the only place you’ll find a horse’s ass
Yes, at all costs
Avoid ridiculous though amusing experiences cultivated in Baltimore
Barry Levinson, I mean no disrespect
If you have to go to Baltimore, and meet boys, do not marry em
Although it’s true I hear that they’ve got quite a nice Aquarium
Ladies, take your hearts and run as fast as little legs can carry 'em
From Baltimore…
There are better boys in Boise
Boys from Boise always call
You’ll have better luck in “Joisie”
Or St. Paul…
No, not St. Paul
But no matter where life takes you
It just makes no sense to fall
in Bal...ti...more...
(Spoken) "So where you from…? Silver Spring? Ohhh..."---Lyrics submitted by Heather Harris.
Zeige deinen Freunden, dass dir Baltimore von Audra McDonald gefällt:
Kommentare