Swearytale of New York Songtext - Amateur Transplants

Swearytale of New York - Amateur Transplants

Adam Kay:

It's Christmas eve
I'm on the forecourt
To buy a present
From the Wild Bean Café
There's packs of cigarettes
There's packs of moist towelettes
There's Dan Brown audio cassettes
And sacks of charcoal briquettes


Suman Biswas:

Where the fuck've you been, I've been waiting for hours


Adam Kay:

Oh don't be so cross, look I've brought you some flowers



Suman Biswas:

These flowers are dead, and they're from our front lawn


Adam Kay:

I've also brought twiglets, a torch, and some porn


Suman Biswas:

You're an ungrateful bastard for pulling this stunt
You nobhead, you shitbag.


Adam Kay:

Insufferable cunt!
At least I don't need tweezers to handle my penis


Suman Biswas:

Stick that torch up your arse
Make this Christmas our last!


Both:

And everywhere around the world
From here to Galway Bay...
There are couples,
Splitting up...
On Christmas day!


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